Arsenic and Old Lace: When Ghosts Attack
by Lella Reincarnated
Summary: When Martha and Abby's gentleman come back from the dead as ghosts, it's up to Mortimer and Tom from myspace to defeat them.


**((For Gifted English, we were told to compose a short story or play that followed after the end of the play Arsenic and Old Lace (a great play, I recommend reading it because it's hilarious). This was mine. If you've never read AaOL, here's the general storyline: Aunt Abby and Aunt Martha kill lonely old men. Their nephew, Mortimer finds out. He has a girl-friend named Elaine, and a crazy older brother named Teddy (who thinks that he's Teddy Rosevelt). Anyway, Mortimer keeps his crazy, old aunts from killing more people and getting arrested. Now, enjoy!))**

Gifted English 2 Final

Arsenic and Old Lace Part Two

(The scene opens up with Aunt Abby and Aunt Martha in the kitchen, cooking dinner. Elaine and Mortimer are about to arrive from their date to the theater, and a guest shall soon come.)

Abby: Oh, it's awfully quiet in the house today.

Martha: I know. I think it's just about time that we have a visitor.

Abby: Yes! Wouldn't that be lovely? Our fifteenth gentleman was over a month ago.

Martha: Indeed he was. Maybe we should put an add in the newspaper.

Abby: No, no, no. Then we may get people who aren't lonely coming here!

Martha: Oh my! You're right, dear! (Someone knocks on the door.) Oh, I'll get it!

(A good-looking man in his early thirties walks into the house with a suitcase.)

Martha: Why, hello! I'm Martha Brewster, and this is my sister Abby Brewster. Do you need a room to stay in over-night?

Abby: Are you lonely? (Martha nudges Abby in the ribs.) Ow...

Martha: What's your name, stranger?

Tom: My name is Tom Anderson. I've come from Santa Monica, California, and it would be wonderful to have a nice bed to sleep on.

Abby: Have you any family to stay with?

Tom: Not here, no.

Martha: Any friends?

Tom: Well, the funny thing is, I'm friends with 178, 867, 258 people.

Abby: (sadly) Oh. That certainly is a lot of friends.

Tom: Yeah, I have the most in the world. Anyway, though, how much should I pay you for a room?

Martha: Well, we won't charge you. Just come on in, and we'll serve you dinner.

Tom: You don't need to, ladies. I've already eaten. May I see my room?

Abby: Of course. Follow me.

(Tom, Abby, and Martha go upstairs to see the spare bedroom as Mortimer and Elaine walk into the house.)

Mortimer: Well, that was fun.

Elaine: Yes! I can't wait to go to the theater again!

Mortimer: You just went last night, though. You went the day before that, and you're going tomorrow. You act as if you're not going again for a year.

Elaine: That's how long it feels.

Mortimer: It'll come faster if you head on home. I'll see you tomorrow morning.

Elaine: Okay. Goodnight!

(Elaine leaves, and Mortimer walks into the kitchen to sit down. Suddenly, weird noises start coming from the cellar, and he gets up to check on what's going on.)

Mortimer: Teddy, is that you?

Teddy: Mortimer, the President is getting his sleep right now, or he will soon. I'm in my room.

Mortimer: Oh. So you're not in the cellar?

Teddy: Panama does not need me right now, so of course not!

Mortimer: Okay, okay. Go back to bed.

Teddy: Bully! I shall!

(Mortimer walks into the cellar and runs up screaming. Abby, Martha, and Tom run downstairs in a hurry to see what's wrong.)

Abby: Mortimer, whatever is going on?

Martha: Are you okay?

Mortimer: There's a... There are... There's a bunch of ghosts down in the cellar! Fifteen of them! I knew this day would come! Aunt Abby, Aunt Martha, why didn't you ever think of this happening?!

Martha: It must be because of that Mr. Spenalzo. He never had a decent funeral, so he probably upset our gentleman.

Abby: Yet another reason why I dislike your brother Jonathon.

Mortimer: Well... What are we going to do about this?!

Tom[steps forward I think that I can help.

Mortimer: Who are you?

Tom: I'm Tom Anderson, from Santa Monica, California. I have 178, 876, 199 friends.

Abby: I thought that it was less than that.

Tom: It went up some. Anyway, I believe that I'll be able to help you with your ghost problem.

Martha: How?

Tom: Well, on the side, I'm a ghost hunter. I'm pretty good at banishing ghosts and clearing houses of spirits.

Mortimer: Sounds good to me! Can you get rid of them quickly?

Tom: Of course. Inside of my suitcase, I have special ghost-fighting weapons. [he holds up a silver stake Well, I have a few other things as well, but I mainly go after ghosts.

(Mortimer and Tom run down into the cellar where Tom starts throwing things at the ghosts, and Mortimer yells things to insult the ghosts.)

Mortimer: Your mother doesn't love you! Your life is a lie! Friends doesn't come no anymore!

Tom: Stop it! You're only going to make them mad! Now help me throw these Buddha statues at them!

(After only a few minutes of fighting, the ghosts are banished, and Tom and Mortimer sigh in relief.)

Mortimer: Good job.

Tom: Thanks.

(They both walk upstairs, where Elaine has come inside and is sitting on the sofa.)

Tom: It's finished!

Abby and Martha: Oh, thank goodness!

Elaine: What's finished? Who are you?

Tom: I'm Tom Anderson from Santa Monica, California. I have 178, 877, 957 friends.

Elaine: Really. (walks up to Tom) You don't say?

Tom: Yeah. Everyone's friends with me.

Elaine: Would you like to go to dinner somewhere?

Tom: Sure!

Mortimer: Elaine! What about me?

Elaine: Uh... I'm friends with Tom now.

Mortimer: NOOO!!!

(Tom and Elaine then leave to go have dinner.)

Mortimer: No! What will I do without Elaine? I'm so lonely!

Abby: Lonely, you say?

Mortimer: Yes.

Martha: (takes out the wine glasses) We can fix that.

(The End.)

**The cast:**

Priscilla Lane as Elaine

Cary Grant as Mortimer

Two random old ladies as Abby and Martha

Tom Anderson (the founder of MySpace) as himself

The Ghosts:

Julius Caesar

Abraham Lincoln

Walt Disney

Adam Sandler

Elvis Presley

Albert Einstein

Thomas Jefferson

Joan of Arc

William Shakespeare

King Henry VIII

and Leonardo da Vinci


End file.
